“say i can 疯！”

喜欢从歌词中寻找自己......歌词配对了音乐，它的旋律自然就跟我的心情同飞共舞。哈哈说什么啦？不知道几时开始说话都变得拐弯抹角的，谁会懂里面隐藏着的意思啊？聪明蛋都不会懂。笨蛋会变成傻瓜。开心果会变成红毛丹。
“say i can 疯！”

烦！

不知道该怎么想不知道该怎么做不知道该如何面对这个人.不知道这样做会怎样那样做会怎样.不知道你在想什么我在想什么.笨死了烦死了!多希望我们可以一直都是彼此的蒙面靠山.迷迷糊糊这两年在半认识与半了解的情况下我们却能默默的给予对方精神上的鼓励与支持.现在这些荒唐都变成了现实我害怕我懊恼我模糊.你的坚持你的大方你的一举一动都那么的不可思议.或许我已经不能像以前那么天真了会去想很多有的没的.我实在不了解也无法了解你.而你觉得你够了解我了吗?

all about LOVE. bittersweet love.

Listening to so many real-life love stories recently, i'm already starting to think which kind of girlfriend i will be for the next relationship, although i may still not be sure what love is. Love is just so so complicated!! I actually searched google about "love", haha, and i totally agree with and liked these few phrases...
1. There's always a meaning why you've met someone, and it's either to learn from them or to teach them.
2. Not everything in front of you is evidently yours to keep, no matter how hard you hold on to it. It escapes.
3. Your first love is the boy/girl who taught you what it means to fall in love.
4. We keep hoping to find true love somewhere--out there--outside ourselves, in someone else' eyes. BUT that is not the place to find true love. Only when we look within will we find what we truly seek--love that heals and sustains us and can even help heal our world. (this is DEEP,,, hoho. )

Me myself, i call 'love' bittersweet. 'Love' is like dark chocolate. (i bought 9 boxes of dark chocolates today. a sign of desperation? haha.) They're so addictive that once you pop you cant stop, like having to see him everyday. They melt in the mouth slowly, like enjoying a relationship at a snail's pace, ignoring time and spending every second of bitterness and sweetness together. hmm...what else? chocolates are always so nicely wrapped up, like love being everly so protected. Dark chocolates are so yummy you'd want it all for yourself! And that's how selfish love is! Well, wont mind to have the bittersweet feeling again;)

10:10 FEEL GOOD TIME:)

staying online does make me distracted most of the time, but most importantly, it keeps me awake!! this workload is killing me...argh! now it's 10:10pm and it's FEEL GOOD TIME!! haha. ever since ntv7 promotoed that advertisement, i've acknowledged 10:10 to be 'feel good time' forever. haha. i can automatically smile when i see this time. so obviously i was smiling awhile ago, haha. and now, typing this. haha. i'm addicted to dark chocolates and you wont ever believe that i actually bought NINE boxes of it, due to cheap price. it's SO yummy you cant stop once you pop!!!! yumyum~~~~~

midnight breeze~~

It's 3:13am now and i'm in the attic doing my silly report. It's a rainy night and i just opened one window to be able to enjoy the breeze. This breeze just reminds me of the beach, particularly that one the 6 of us walked in the early air, and the wind blew, so cold yet so refreshing... us 4 took a picture there, but it was sadly blur enough to be displayed in my precious angie-series-album...haha. the moments stayed though, and especially tonight, i'm thinking of that dawn, that breeze, that photo. and the same red long-sleeve shirt i'm still wearing now...

you are not you anymore......

to the two of you out there: some friends are always friends, and they are forever that“衰样”no matter how long you knew each other and under all other circumstances. they know you so well and you know them as well too. sometimes both sides will feel that they actually dont know each other too well, but somehow they just know, or at least can make you very happy. we quarrel, we have cold wars, we complain, but in the end we laugh together again. true friends, i call them. however, you, and you, are no longer the "you" i once knew. so different now and then. i am really disappointed, not to say. how could you ppl??? you just cut the line yourself, HOW COULD YOU??? remembering the moments we spent together, remembering the secrets we've shared together, it may be history for you now, or maybe it doesnt even exist anymore...... but to me, all these still felt like yesterday... one day, if you come back again, i dunno... we might be friends once more, but it will definitely feel different already. you've broken my heart:(:(

LUCK which comes and go...

Another month is gone again. regarding applications, all that has to be done is done, now only waiting for the results. it makes me realise that LUCK still plays a vital role, no matter how hard you strive:( i just need more luck. luck oh luck... fly to lai o lai.... kan lol=lol??? but well, laugh out loud also =lol. so maybe that's why. somebody is laughing at me:(

now is tiem to worry what will happen next. but it seems that i'm so kept busy with work and work and still work!!! cant worry anything till my results are out. the next plan will come when the time arrives. i have been having really high hopes, really looking forward this time. decisions made in life are not to regret, cos every route i took it made me see new things...i dont know, but im afraid...about now, about the future...

the night before exam i dreamt of ah mah, my dear ah mah, who seems to always appear in my dreams when i feel nervous. well, it was a family meeting then, but held at manjee's house? so disconnected. and up came water and crab scene. and dancing scene. all so not related, but yet it went together in the dreams. it was all just too funny!!

today from the kids it's like you can see how crazy love can be in real life situations, haha. No matter how you lecture them, how you shouted so loud oout of anger and squeezed them firmly to listen, made them cry and plead, they still stick to you like glue after that. it seems like they only remember the good stuffs. and at their homes, i'm everly so protected. that's the interesting part, hearing stories of yourself from parents' mouth. and listening to children imitate my tone of voice today, i really couldnt help but laughed out loud. how well they can imitate!! i dont know how successful i am in this field, or at which level i stand now. but the love and passion for it is definitely there, and i get loved in return. will that be enough? yes and no. sigh.

august. kuching fest. deadline. tourguide. birthdays. more unpredictables to come. i really want a break. im beat.......

Angie aiming for the moon...ajah ajah FIGHTING!!

so long i havent had this so so so nervous feeling. IELTS beat me mien!!! i'm beat beat beat!!! studying so hard...
that day i was counting. really never had i stopped being busy ever since i graduated Senior 3. need a break mien. being studying plus working all this while... never had a holiday longer than 2weeks. how pathetic. i wanna shout out loud!!!

anyways, I'm aiming for the moon now. so good luck to me, and may all the luck bless me:) god bless the moon, the moon bless me. thank you thank you....

left out:(

my dear subang buddies are having their graduation today. both back in our old territory, leaving me to have this lonely feeling suddenly. sniff sniff. feel left out. sniff sniff. i wanna join them in KL!!!!!!!!! we talked through the phone, both of them talking to me, but somehow it feels different not being there. the gifts are still with me, plus bday gifts. haha. i have to wait till i go KL to collect my bday gift. should i do the same thing??? wakaka. come to kuching and get your gift!! hahaa...imagine being slaughtered with hideous cruelty!! (a phrase never to forget, thanks to OPT yaya!)

Rainforest Music Fest this year...i gave up too. busy working with my English. aiyoyo...

salty tears:(

the tears were salty. it has been almost two years that i really ever cried... it was a little embarrassing then, but i couldnt take it more. ouch. the tears came but i swallowed them in, until ms. tan came, talking to me at the SO RIGHT time... the previous second i was smiling, the next second i was already choking, suddenly i just lost my voice. i really hate this feeling...though it does feel better after all these embarrassment. haha. saying that these tears came out from my eyes, you can call them PRECIOUS!!

:( refusing to smile

"Your smile is the most important thing you wear." from youhua. nice phrase:)

Some reasons are not reasons, but you still accept them.
Some requests are really "too much", but you still say "yes".
Some emotions should be let out, but you still hide them behind a smile.
Some words should be expressed, but you still keep them deep inside your heart.
Sometimes you know that it's really silly, but you still stay silly!!

My smile may have brighten your day, but this smile of mine may have broken my heart...:(

disgusting fact! *opisai*

ok it's disgusting, but my nose was itchy then. my car stopped at the traffic light. as i held my finger up, i just so happened to peek into the mirror, and guess what i saw? that man was happily digging his nose, for quite some time!! immediately i lose to urge to even touch my nose, and was laughing alone to kill the itchiness. the guy did not see me. i wonder how he would react if he did notice me? *staring at him with that disgusted look* HAHAHA

此时此刻。

I love you, you love me,
Let's gang up and kill Barney,
With a super shotgun bang! bang! bang!
No more purple dinosaur.

很想吃 lambchop 不然就 maggi kari. 就是那种一定要吃到的感觉。恐怖吧？

如果说你要走，我不会留，我不去管以后多么痛多么的难过。越爱越难过。

Winning is not everything, but wanting to win is.

“一千年以后”的那个人。
“Zombie”的那个人。
善良的奋斗者。
无业游民。

我醉了，因为我很寂寞。
再给我一杯美酒与咖啡！！

i miss you^.^

was washing and cutting my hair. was reading magazine articles. different articles immediately link you to different people who have stepped into my life. some things read are like so real, and many things still feel like yesterday, but tomorrow always feels so distant, until it's too late to realise. yesterday i found out about something. it's actually no great deal, but it still hurts. abit. whyyyyy??? outta my mind!!!!!! choking myself in my dreams.

there's no specific reason to give someone a gift. there's no specific reason to wish someone a good day. like when i saw Pumpkin and Bubble, i just felt like they had to come home with me. and they did. so today, it's "i miss you day", cos i just felt like saying "i miss you" ^.^

LAUGH more!!!! :D:D

Laughters are contagious!! especially daddy's. haha. Once he starts his super laughing, he cant stop, and we all will laugh cos his laughing is so so so funny!! just now it lasted for at least 5mins non-stop and the 5 of us ended up with a little tummyache and jaw-ache with tears rolling down! haha!!

Hmm..but crying is contagious too. Watching china's fund-raising program for the earthquake victims can make me cry buckets!! adui~~

learning to grow up?

Love V-channel recently. must on every night!!
Love this phrase: Moanday, Tearday, Wailsday, Thumpsday, Frightday, Shatterday, SUNDAE!!
Love holidays!! Have been really lazy, not doings tasks that should be done, but doing other stuffs like clearing boxes, rearranging files & papers...found old newspaper cuttings i had totally forgotten about, and amazingly, my face was accidentally posted on the newspaper for 7 times? still 暗爽，haha. what else...Chan Sao Man i once was soooo much in love with, CRAZY!! also reading the so many cards i received since young, recalling those moments... cant believe i'm 22 now, so many unpredictables out there. until last friday, dunno why suddenly i had this feeling...it's time to grow up. whatde? haha exactly. but it's like daddy and mummy are hiding so many things from us, taking all the burden by themselves. we always think they dont know us well enough, but seems like they know sooo much. and us, always neglecting so many things, enjoying being so nicely spoonfed...

today i felt like going to jog so much, but found nobody to accompany me. so i finally decided to go alone. alone i drove, alone i walked, alone i jogged. it wasnt funny, cos many ppl were alone too, though i wished someone was with me. kaka. well, as i watched the trees as i walked, i remembered those days in KL, the place where i exercised my feet the most. then out of no reason, suddenly those different different faces appeared, those people i walked side by side with, the places we walked together, the potholes and drains, the lousy roads, and my sportshoes. was weird. i do miss KL, more than i expected. hah. no matter what i've been there for 3 years and it's where i turned into a legal adult too.

was thinking of working all the way now, as it might be a challenge for me to go back to real studying life once again. heard from lecturers and seniors that it would be tough for us Malaysians. on the other side, i feel i'll regret if i do not experience a real student life at this age everyone should be a student. gotta fulfill this dream though it might be tough financially. people always say there'll be a way if your will is strong. i gotta be that persistent one!! this determination might lead me to the stars? haha. the future i dare not predict yet... scary to think even... just move on!! move on!!!

breastmilk. THE RED EYE.

imagine a real breast on top of your eye. haha. just few days back i saw Jadden's mum bringing breastmilk and told him, "Jadden, this is not for drinking." then straight away she pushed his head down and dripped the milk into his eye. just few days later i had it. THE RED EYE. was just joking, "Lyn, gimme your breastmilk lah. natural antibiotic." there she was, taking it more seriously than ever. that noon, i laid on Idah's lap, having Adelynna cover my right eye, Ferrisca opening my left eye wide, and right on top of it, the breast. TWO DROPS. "oh, milk!" was my response. and they all kept laughing. that was a real joke. and so many ppl didnt believe that this was a real case. hahaha. i will remember this.

white colour

Unpredictables... the love-hate thing.
下幕。

today, Liza suddenly held a book and asked us which is our favourite colour. without thinking much, i just said "white". White is the color of purity. White means kindness. White daisies are a symbol of loyal love. Strictly speaking, white is not a color, but the manifestation of the presence of all color - the complete energy of light. It stands for wholeness and completion. In many cultures it represents openness and truth. White has a cold quality. It can provide clarity as its energy is complete. It holds the potential to move toward every other color and this makes it a good choice for new beginnings, and development in any direction.

so white may be good for me. it holds the potential to move toward every other color:)

transformers.

hugging has always been my favourite affection for love and care towards a person. but somehow it seems awkward when i really felt like doing it. never had the tendency of hugging family or friends maybe. how nice to have a big, warm hug once in awhile. suddenly missing mummy teoh's hug, so firm and so tight, making me feel so protected and loved. mother's day is here, and her birthday is approaching, how could i have not sent her a card?? argh!

with children it's much much easier. it's like there's a big sign written on their face "Hug or kiss me whenever you like!" you wont ever feel shy to cuddle them in your arms. they are small physically, but they're more generous towards hugging. for no reason, someone will choke you from behind, or dash into your stomach, just to hug you and say, "Teacher, i like you." sometimes, you can suddenly feel something wet sticking on your face, and there it is, a goldfish kiss, followed by an evil grin. sometimes a monkey will hang around your leg as if it is a tree. during tense situations, a warm hand will suddenly lie on your thigh, so ticklish you had to grab and put it away. the best part is you'll have someone unprofessional to massage your shoulders, but along will come a choo-choo-train, and the massaging machines rolls on and on, with different massages. all terrible ones, but it still makes you feel so pampered. that's how adorable children are. never hiding their emotions. they wont say it, but they show it!! why is it so hard for us adults? we were once kids too!! never knew how and why we became transformers.