CJ

giegie is back in kuching!! home sweet home :)
supposed to accomplish the last group assignment and courier it asap...then ended up chatting, and chatting. then went down awhile at midnight, CJ suddenly came to my room, wearing his school uniform, and started spilling out his worries for next year. i realised every year he will spill out to me once or twice, did not wanna disappoint him so listened to him, and gave him some big-sister advice which i dunno is useful onot. it's like i can say nia, want me to do also cannot. study-wise, CJ's so like me. i see a lot of me in him actually, being the school girl, studying until so called "wanna die". but we still enjoy school, and love school. this boy is actually worrying so much, and most ppl will think he's the happy-go-lucky playful boy who never grows up. well this sister can tell he's grown. all he needs is more shown-love, more attention. all the best to CJ in the form3 he dreads. kampatei!

drawing the fullstop (.)

These 3years in KL... from 412L -- 160M -- 108C -- 175Q.
From the 3rd floor -- 2nd floor -- 1st floor -- ground floor.
haha kinda cool, aint it?
Each had memories for me to cherish.
Now i'm really gonna leave i dunno how much i will miss this place, although i really never liked it. Tonight will be the last night in 175Q, and i cant relax and enjoy the night, having millions of unfinished tasks!! /cry.
1. MEC147 Exam. (i'm still as bad, the lousy student who gets a total headache when it comes to memorising complicated words. last minute. sleepy. struggling. complaining.)
2. Practicum 1. (only survivor in cohort 3. they all gave up. 159/180hours. i'm actually doing great here. but tonight is just bad.)
3. CLS141. (Carmen the torturer for the last subject. finished drawing. 2 more to colour. havent write.)
4. Souvenirs for lecturers and cohort 3 mates. (just collected the souvenirs d+m brought over. need wrap? yes, dun kill me. no, how to give lecturers?)
5. PACKING! (i have to make this room empty by tmr morning. and all i've packed is 2 boxes.)

about only 12hours left to accomplish all these tasks!!! HOW?!
God bless me.

pathetic ads!!

time is tight!! getting scared already. yet i can still waste time. me ah....
im so bored of doing work i remembered mr mohan's saying about his daughter searching his name in IE. i've done that before, long long time ago, discovering my name being a RC member & blablabla. i did the same thing today, but searching for peiwen. many ppl having this name, and a girl, 20, the intro sounded interesting. so i clicked in, only to find that they brought me to a page full of porns. pathetic ads!! cheap! i tried some other names, and the same thing happened, just a different site. i wonder if it's because my comp is unprotected by antivirus now? shit! unable to dL free software after deleting the expired one. gawd.. how i wish i was more computer savvy!!

the vague figure

suddenly, just suddenly.
a picture, a scene appeared in front of my eyes.
there was a car. he was driving. we were both very quiet. then i took over and drove. still very quiet. eyes only looking in front. driving to a destination where there's nobody at all. there wasnt a picture of the place. i got down of the car. he followed. i just shouted. and stopped. and shouted again. really shouted with all my energy. it repeated for a few times. he just stood there beside me. until i collapsed on his shoulder and cried. until finally i was smiling again, thanking him and telling him that i havent cried in such a long time. it felt really good. but the face was vague. it was just a shadowy figure. a very quiet shadowy figure... but i knew it was there...

-VE day

today everything just seemed so negative since the minute i opened my eyes. i havent slept well for the past few nights. now i hate this room so much, feeling that there's so much negative energy in here. once i step into this room, it's just work. im racing with time!! i feel so tired. so so tired. whose big arms and broad shoulders would be here to hold my head which feels so heavy now? im going out tmr for the sake of going out. not so looking forward actually, with this bunch of ppl. CC & EU. so used to making decisions last minute with my buddies, so spontaneous as long as everyone enjoyed in the end. why have to force me. and always throw the decision to me. "you're leaving." ok im leaving. but they asked me out! cant you just plan?! make me so "fan"!!! shud have ignored all of them, and just date a time with SJ alone. with WL alone. and LL. cant we just enjoy a nice and peaceful day together? we dont even know when we'll ever meet again.

sometimes i feel so so silly. feeling frustrated but pretending to laugh. feeling unhappy but pretending to smile. feel like scolding bad words but such nice words came out from my mouth. wanting some enemies but all came about being my friends. dont i understand that a clap doesnt sound complete without two hands? it's better to have just a few true friends. some enemies are ok. LEARN TO BE EVIL!! it makes life simpler.

tun tun ho lai, tun tun pai poi

my right eye has been jumping for 3 continuous days. grr!
3 sayings: too tired. someone miss me. i wanna fight with someone.
mummy says do this:
use your thumb and pointer to hold up the eyelid,
open close open close.
(showing me through handphone. yes i can see.)
then say,
tun tun tun
tun tun ho lai
tun tun pai poi zhao
poi hui hui
really laugh till wanna pengsan liao. dear mummy, mummy!!

muMMy and daughteRs' daY

I went to LCMH today. The new faces, the familiar faces. It has only been 3weeks, but seems like I've been long for quite some time. Lucky everything there still looked so familiar, so welcoming, so comfy. Mrs Teoh brought Wai Nee, Jamie & me to the Lagoon Hotel for lunch. (Su wasn't able to join us.) The famous buffet was closed so we had ala carte. The food wasn't great then, but we had a table of giggles, so called mother-daughters lunch. Then we had a walk by the beautiful poolside, took photos like camera freaks, enjoying it. We went to see Mrs Teoh's new centre, Montessori for Children. Nice place. We went to the beauty saloon she once set up, beautiful place. This lady really has talent! Then we went for tea again. Home we went. Was also nice getting to know more of Wai Nee and Jamie. Guess this is what all daughters would like to do with their mothers? Hanging out for no particular reason, talking about serious stuffs but also laughing about silly things together, mummy paying the bills(haha). But well, mummy is mummy. She's special in her own way ;) I just love to be pampered, don't i? I wonder if all other boys and girls also feel the same way? More or less? We're born to love and to be loved, right? and LOVE really heals!!

an eye for an eye (; ;)

an eye for an eye ;)

it's a full day class and we've been drawing for the whole day. my friends were trying to wash my brain and persuading me to stay. not that i've never considered the pros and cons, but guess i've had enough of life in KL. i want to go home. though i might have a more tiring day, earn less. but be more happy? and comfy? and pampered :)

why do some friends only drew closer when it's time to leave? i will miss them, somehow. no matter what we've all gone through this 2 years 4 months in this pathetic college, good or bad, but yet feel that we've gained so much here, and also grown a lot together! glad to be in cohort 3. chose the right time to join DIKA :)

an eye for an eye ;) stay happy and healthy.

许愿！

在马中公园许愿池许愿，今天是第二次。下午刚许的愿，现在竟然忘记了。上一次的也没记得，看来我都没认真许愿吧。可是我却让别人认真许愿了，还说我笨？哈哈。两个多小时愿望就实现了？虾米？！

雨不停的下，冷风吹，鸟儿却好像一点也不受影响的自由飞行。猫熊不时不时就数数有几只小鸟停泊在那，看起来很兴奋，让小猫有点疑惑。不是小猫看到小鸟该兴奋的吗？猫熊和小猫坐在那里没怎么动，被雨淋了都发冷。猫熊发现了小猫黄黄手掌中的三条线。小猫发现了猫熊拇指上的脚拇趾。猫熊和小猫，说着不同的语言，却有他们自己沟通到很自然的方式。晕。

九年以后的他

今晚终于见到他了。九年。但感觉上一点也不陌生。跟照片中有点不一样。跟以前更不一样。不高不矮不胖不瘦。怕冷怕热。有着奇怪的记忆。关于我，我自己都不太记得。驾车一点也不酷，哈哈。路痴。竟然约我明天玩飞机棋？流汗！

曾经

看着爸妈心血来潮忽然整理那已堆积了十多年各式各样的旧衣服，很多回忆自然也掀起吧。妈很兴奋地拿起一件连身裙：“你记得这件吧？你在外婆家外穿这裙拍了一张照片咧！是你爸在新加坡买的。”“还有这件……”我随手拿起一件红色米奇鼠的裤子：“这件我记得，还有蓝色一样款式的！”爸看起来忽然有点内疚说：“这样也记得？！老实说你姐的真的买了好多好多，你的较少。”“是咯，我们都总是把你打扮成小男孩。”哼，看照片我也知道啊，生我的时候他们都想要个儿子，因为前面原本有的哥哥吧。可能因为这样我也比较有男孩气质吧，不会太有女人味，也总是太坚强想哭都哭不出来。不过幸亏 我还是在充满爱的环境里成长的，才有现在富有爱心的赖佩雯嘛！哈哈。

后来整理到爸不要的衣服了，妈却怎么都不舍得丢或给人。他们在那里抢来抢去很好笑，妈又把全部抱在怀里爸输了，哈哈。妈说那些都有回忆，她说了爸也只能“哇”一声摇摇头。有点无奈的表情，又好像很佩服妈这女人。呵呵，忽然记得我也曾经珍藏某些衣服呢！初恋第一次牵手穿的那件红色背心，好像还在橱里呢！原来我不是唯一的奇怪女人。女人本性吗？还是那些醉于爱河里的女人就会有某些特技呢？有些记忆得刻意去记得，不然就逐渐逐渐的忘记了；有些却好像已经是记忆的一部分了，不管怎么洗也洗不掉了。

昨天他忽然打来了。期待已久却紧张之余说不太出话来。他的声音，我完全没印象也不记得是这么man的。九年了，从来都没有偶然碰见，也没联络过。今年七月，他忽然打来家里，拿了我的电话，终于联络上我了。他记得关于我的东西比较多，不过努力想想后也忽然记得关于他的一些事情了，让他很惊讶，哈哈。时常在网上聊天，好像忽然彼此就变得很要好，好像已经彼此认识很久的朋友，因此都很期待见面。照片中他的脸没怎么变，只是没以前那么肥嘟嘟了，嘻嘻。还曾经给我画得一幅画猫样，哈哈爽！快要见面了，这个人到底会是怎样的呢？

狮子心情

最近爱上吵音乐，听到熟悉歌曲就跟着大声哼大声唱。也莫名其妙会在没其他人的情况下自己乱乱大声喊一下两下。也超级讨厌下雨天。也变得较小气较容易发脾气。心情真的这么烂吗？还是我初级疯了？很不喜欢这样的自己啊！连蚊子都叮我了啦！！