-VE day

today everything just seemed so negative since the minute i opened my eyes. i havent slept well for the past few nights. now i hate this room so much, feeling that there's so much negative energy in here. once i step into this room, it's just work. im racing with time!! i feel so tired. so so tired. whose big arms and broad shoulders would be here to hold my head which feels so heavy now? im going out tmr for the sake of going out. not so looking forward actually, with this bunch of ppl. CC & EU. so used to making decisions last minute with my buddies, so spontaneous as long as everyone enjoyed in the end. why have to force me. and always throw the decision to me. "you're leaving." ok im leaving. but they asked me out! cant you just plan?! make me so "fan"!!! shud have ignored all of them, and just date a time with SJ alone. with WL alone. and LL. cant we just enjoy a nice and peaceful day together? we dont even know when we'll ever meet again.

sometimes i feel so so silly. feeling frustrated but pretending to laugh. feeling unhappy but pretending to smile. feel like scolding bad words but such nice words came out from my mouth. wanting some enemies but all came about being my friends. dont i understand that a clap doesnt sound complete without two hands? it's better to have just a few true friends. some enemies are ok. LEARN TO BE EVIL!! it makes life simpler.