bolat-ness and 感动-ness

bolat-ness of a happy little girl:) i was beat then, but receiving the news of getting a place in AUT definitely brightened me up!! unknowingly someone actually googled bolatness and teased me so long over it. yrrrrr.
today i've been reading about childhood cancer almost all day, reading some interesting stuffs, reading some real life touching stories---how some failed while others survived, watching youtube and how those children fought against cancer, how those parents face their own cencerous kids everyday. it's sad. and also many many organizations which are actually really putting in an effort to help. i want to be a member in this voluntary field one day, but i'll find which i have the real passion for, where im able to do something really useful, rather than only symphatizing ppl...it's what they hate. i really do admire those ppl who helped unconditionally with all their heart...
doing assignments have been abit out of touch...and i kind of lost the mood. but i finally found something i have been looking for ever since i started this project! clicking from one site into another and another and another........and finally you found the thing you want. that feeling...ever so 感动！感动-ness of a puffy-eyed girl @.@ i need a rest now.

love-doughnut

i just couldnt take the smell. i skipped lunch to just come back to have my cool shower. traffic jam. i had 10mins to shower and change, 10mins to eat my biscuits, talked to nai, then rush back to work. havent even got time to sayang Bibi which just got back from the vet. Her eyes were looking at me as if i didnt want to care about her:( it was so so tiring when i got back to work i feel like vomitting, yet still feeling the hunger... at a glance on the trolley, i thought i saw my name. "T. Angie" was written there on the BIG APPLE packet, from Hans. a cheese doughnut was inside. i was so touched at that moment... though i'm not a super fan of doughnuts!! once in awhile i do get something from him, but at that moment it just seemed like heaven. later in the evening, i thanked his mom for the first time as i usually only said it to Hans. only i knew that Hans kinda 'forced' her to buy things for me? gosh... hmm...how should i deal with this? it's a good and bad thing ler......

studying abroad really needs a lot of money. it's scary to count and convert. always knew that money is important, but really realised the importance of money this year round. it's really like what ppl say, no money no talk. cant travel, cant buy house, cant feed children, cant enjoy a luxurious life, ok better say indulging life...cant this cant that. i really really salute to daddy and mummy, never too rich, but being able to raise us 5 and providing us a comfortable life with infinity love is more than anything in the world!!

三个字.难说吗?

我爱你是多么清楚多么坚固的信仰
我爱你是多么温暖多么勇敢的力量
我不管心多伤不管爱多慌不管别人怎么想
爱是一种信仰把我带到你的身旁

谢谢你的温柔
我会把你种在我心中
也许某天会终于再次长出一个梦
不知道不明了不想要
为什么我的心
明明是想靠近却孤单到黎明

再冲动一点点我就不闪躲
不过三个字别忧虑这么久
只要你说出口
你就能拥有我

一定要那三个字吗
还没决定往哪走
才所以不能答应你陪我
怕你会变成我
想着想着 我还是没信心说出口
对不起

傻瓜...别在意那些话.我不会再要你说了.
等你有天想说你自然会说...我没什么.

想着你的黑夜
想着你的容颜
反反复复孤枕难眠
告诉你一样不成眠
告诉我你也盼我出现

究竟我是怎么了 怎么了
难道爱一个人真的有错吗
虽然爱一个人很苦 可我还渴望一点爱
我怎么了 苦了吗
竟然爱她爱到那么施舍
痛到最后苦了以后 也快乐

my darling Hyoun Seok...

my adorable korean boy is leaving tmr. but it felt as if today's the last day. i missed him already while i was packing all his stuffs in school and he seems to sense something. he knows he's leaving. for the past few weeks he was really excited and kept telling me that he's gonna fly with his family. today, he suddenly said, "teacher, i bring you to s'pore." he jumped onto me and wanted me to hug him. he simply kissed me all over my face and really hugged me tight. omg i was speechless for awhile. i had this hug two years ago, from Eria Sato, my Japanese girl, who really cried when i left. it felt the same. it's amazing how these 3year-olds can sense this pre-departure feeling. i couldnt stand it and so kidnapped him to do my preparation stuffs, skip his 2 lessons so what. there i showed him some class picts i took and he was happily pointing. decided to make a card for him at the spot, and i did. laminated with the 3photos he liked. when it was done, he actually kissed the card and gave me one of the best smiles ever. i was melting then... tmr will be the day. ouchh. i sometimes do wonder when these children grow up, how many of them will remember the teacher they once loved so much when they were in their innocent 3-year-olds? hmm...that's up to them eh? so called, unconditional love. will miss you, darling Seok-ke~.

those feelings......

that feeling getting confirmation to get into university.
that feeling you start imagining things thta will happen in the future, the good and the bad.
that feeling when you think you get assurance from someone who thinks you're good at what you're doing.
that feeling receiving a funny photo or silly message.
that feeling guessing or imagining what a phrase actually means.
that feeling you think you cant finish your stuffs in time, or cant produce something good at the end of the day.
that feeling during pre-departures.
that feeling when you dont know what you're feeling.