the light called 'you'

i've always lived my life alone, destiny forgotten
but in a sudden light
i awaken
in the middle of the night
quietly
stand in the doorway
and shoot the light into the darkness
perhaps the promises that we have made
will only make you feel uneasy
but those promises were just my wishes that i have about us
i'll introduce you to my family
i'm sure you'll get along with them
no matter the time
we'll always be together
no matter the time
i'll be by your side
the light called 'you' finds me
in the middle of the night
enter a noisy street
and put on the mask of destiny
stop doing meaningless things
like reading too much into our future
let's just eat something delicious for today
because the future is so far ahead of us
even i dont know what will happen
dont consider this the final cut
we can make it even better
we'll be ok if we take it one scene at a time
the light called 'you' reflects my scenario
let's talk some more
about the tomorrow thats before our very eyes
turn off the tv
and look only at me
no matter how good our life is now
i dont completely believe that it will always be this way
but even if the bad times come
i'll still be by your side
the light called 'you' finds me
in the middle of the night
lets talk some more
about the tomorrow thats before our very eyes
turn off the tv
and look only at me
---Utada Hikaru 〈Hikari〉

the beautiful lie

today is a good day, today is a nice day... and it all started with a beautiful lie? i don't want to do it again, coz it really set my nerves up! not every lie works so smoothly, but today is really a day reserved for me :) TO BE HAPPY =D
i was late, but i felt really appreciated by my little darlings.
i told a lie, but got things back with my boss. we were finally like good friends again. back to the good old days.
the broken promise, we couldn't go to Kenny Rogers, but i get to enjoy my bath rather than rush there right after work.
i missed the bus, but got to message my dear buddies about my great day.
it ended up to be a duo-meeting again, but i got to buy my handsome sweater. seldom do i fall so in love with a guy's shirt and missed it so much! if i had a boyfriend, that sweater would definitely be for him. i tried it on, and it still looked awesome on my handsome body. hiakz. i HAD TO buy it. muax!
i had to wait for buka puasa with the mcD food on the table right in front of me, very very funny feeling. but now i have this once-in-a-lifetime-experience. you should try, haha.
i reached home quite late, but finally got a message from the stumbling block. i can't say it's sweet, but it made me feel sweet. somehow. that's how silly i am.
but in all, it's a really WONDERFUL day. smile :) smile :) smile :)

my emotional "it"

i hope my heart give me the right hints.
i wish it could tell me what to do, and lead me the directions, letting me arrive soundly at my dreamed destinations...
it only seems to do the right thing when it is happy...
it's like not functioning when it's sad.
why so emotional?
it's just an "IT" ya know?!

今年中秋并没有想象中孤单。我们吃着月饼‘假装赏月’，哈哈，还配印度炒饭和超甜的美禄沙冰！真不够中秋风味，哈哈。月亮今夜很圆很亮，很美。因为忘了拿钥匙，让我多走在街上几步，感觉上好久没这样望着夜空漫步。这时候好想有个人牵着我的手...再借我宽宽的肩膀依靠。很傻又很舒心。很多回忆顿时像钢琴声响起...大声的小声的，好听的难听的，有旋律的乱七八糟的......月亮好像想告诉我什么似的......但我还没有学会月亮的语言~~
只是忽然想起了那首奇怪的诗...
tonight, there was this round bright eye staring at me.
It follows me around the bush, around the bend of the road,
constantly piercing me with its sharp stares from behind.
Everywhere i go, there it was with its bright staring eye.
When i just about to reach home, suddenly it appears in front of me
and i stopped, trying to decide what to do
as i looked at it and it looks at me: one thing occurs to me, it is just as lonely as i am
but here i am looking at it, someone out there is doing the same thing too
i realised how lucky i am to be able to see warm night light*~~~

i can see whats happening
and they dont have a clue
they will fall in love
and our trio will be down to two
theres magic everywhere
with all these romantic atmosphere, disaster is in the air
cant you feel the love tonight
the world is living in perfect harmony
with all its living things
so many things to tell her
but how to make her see
the truth of my past but thats impossible
hes holding back
why wont he be the king he is
cant guess?

angel-devil

heehee

like me

an angel and a devil

that's what i wanna be

i'm gonna watch and see

how i turn out to be

an angel i'll always be

a devil i dream to be

oh let me see

these both in me

angel eyes and devil smile

for thee :)

-hee-

can you... see this in me?

This is so sweet my dearest yindeh :) and funny :D
Hope all you've said will come true, i dun wanna doubt the nengken...
i miss you sooo muchyyy nengken dear~

Cutest Ms Angie.
Don't you fret my darling.
This week u may be blue,
But next week you'll be smiling :)

IELTS of Seven
Is something you can get
As long as you believe in yourself
Nothing will be too bad :)
Testimonials from teachers
Will be easy peasy for you
They will say
Angie is an angel
Angie is kind but firm
Angie is a friend and teacher
of only the very best kind :)

So don't u give up dear
All these are but a challenge
We'll always be there behind you
Never doubt the nengken. :P

Wish i could write more
But lest the boss looks at me funny,
i'll have to stop now
and wish u the best u can be!

love lots
yindeh
heheeee

it's one of those BEAT BEAT days!! omg. i felt like lying flat on the ground, closing my eyes, not shutting my ears but not wanting to know what they're doing...just lay 'dead' in the state of ignorance! i felt like i was really gonna be craZY! this is too 'OVER' to add colours to my life, i donT need this!

anyways, 〈Just Like Heaven〉is sooo nice!! A part of my bday gift from yindeh one/two years back. haha. i finally watched it. two thumbs UP!! yo!

maybe i've been too 'generous' lately? what should i do? play 'pee-ka-boo'? play 'silence is golden'? play 'visible statue'? or just don't play anymore... ???

Today i kept sneezing. and have a sore throat. i woke up 5am coz i dreamt of a friend's father dead and couldnt get back to sleep anymore. he wrote something really sweet to his family (in friendster?) (in 1980?) but had a child in 1986 and is still very alive now? this is too weird & incredible. however it still disturbs me. shit la. chinese saying: when u dream of someone dead, u're extending his/her life. dont let me be the one helping extending ppl's life anymore please. oh gosh.

i'm having a lazy day and was really glad when cb appeared as an offline onliner. it's the first time i ever see him staying up until this late, his 3am. and yup, for that reason he told me about :) this cb, always acting so cool, so manly, so brotherly, yet spontaneous, silly and jovial. cb can make ppl sometimes very geram, sometimes feeling stupid, sometimes offending you like nobody's business. but no doubt he's been there to cheer me up and make me feel better. he can get me to talk crap and total silly stuffs with him and talk about things which are so out of topic then suddenly jump back to the most formal topic ever again. seems like someone who expects you to read his complicated mind though. erm.

many things said are like still so intangible. we shall see :):)

what is the feeling when u get to know something that you dun feel like knowing? why do i accidentally get to know it? i wish things were simpler, and ppl dont make themselves complicated. be yourself. dont be someone you dont even know how to be. changes are sometimes interesting, but too big a change makes it odd. dont change the picture in my mind. i like it the way it used to be...

i find this camel story quite meaningful~~

so the MORAL of the story is:

Skills, knowledge, abilities and experiences

are only useful if

YOU ARE AT THE RIGHT PLACE!!

so where are you now?

and where am i now?

Today the toad was gonna talk about his childhood. As I was walking out to the bus-stop, suddenly I was thinking that I want to go back to Kenyalang to that long room of ours, with our daddy-made ping-pong table, the red & green carpets we used to skip about, the night-lamp we use to bully, our blankies that can be the roofs of our dollhouse, the long white table with 2 holes to stick in our legs, and the nice but hard-to-clean window which we can see half of kuching's view? miss all that =.= Only I remembered that our old sweet home has been banged down & turned into a new building already :( may our childhood memories stay there forever.

Today I took the bus 3times. 2times 21, and once 20. I used to hate getting 20 coz it's like nearly 21, so I think it's the worst luck. But this one is a nice number: 9911. well, it turned out quite a nice day :)

By the way, I want to know what the toad is thinking. Bombastic weirdo.