8/9/2006
I feel stupid :(
I don’t know what I’m thinking.
Still dreaming.
9/9/2006
Boring class. Had a presentation and I was like on stage alone for 15mins, and Jegi joined for another 35mins. Dunno why the lecturer got so much to talk, but he’s good la.
10/9/2006
Terribly boring as well. Same lecturer for 2 days!! The eight of us planning to ponteng class next next Saturday. Will be damn obvious eh? Haha. That 4 sure lah. Other 2 need to attend coz absent few times liao. Me and WLing leh, always ended up to be good girls. So we’re deciding to be naughty this time. Will it work?? Haha.
11/9/2006
Nightmare. He appeared. He said he wasn’t coming!! I was like so freaked out seeing him so early in the morning once I start work holding the till. Thanks to him I got so many voids, coz of nervousness!! Hope I won’t need to write a report tomorrow. Shite. From now onwards, every Monday will be a nightmare… help!!!!!!! I hope the other days will remain safe. Goodness sake, why meet a scary guy like that?!
16/9/2006
Wow…it’s like having the past two days with two big sisters! How nice :) feel homey. So homey. And really eat a lot. Haha. But I bloody dunno how I would fall down at the airport!! So embarrassing. Worst thing I was wearing my jeans but still my knee was hurt. Ouch. And it looks yucky :(
Today at college the lecturer really looked like Aunty Denert. Miss her so much when I looked at the lecturer. So I non-consciously kept looking at her, and I think she also realised la. I even silly-ly took a photo of her, pretending I was aiming another person. 三姨，such a nice person, but why leave so early?
18/9/2006
我们尝试让彼此差异能隐形
遗憾的是回避不能解决问题
当我疲倦地凝望你憔悴表情
再不舍得 也该让你远离
握你的手
坚持到最后一秒钟
哪怕爱要冰凉了
至少让回忆是暖的
了解比爱难多了
我们都尽力了
也许温柔是停止挽留
握你的手
像耳语轻声说保重
让眼睛就算湿了
不只是痛也有感动
以前每一次挥手
都为了再握手
但这一次
是为了放手
19/9/2006
Why would I dream of this?? Gosh. Two guys on the phone. Both crying. Can’t remember why. And I was attending to…. dunno..... remember I was half shouting, coz so panic. Then?? Mystery discontinued, I woke up. Silly dreamy. Again.
Friday, September 22, 2006
Monday, September 04, 2006
Delayed blogs>>>
28/8/2006
I have always wondered why I usually only sang songs with 'happy' lyrics. I thought it's just me, always liking to be positive. Even when ahMah was going to die, seeing her struggling in her room that night, seeing her anger trying to hold the bottle herself, making her hardest effort to talk but the voice just couldn’t come out, then suddenly the next day she was like normal again. I made myself believe that she'd be ok, feeding her with the 'tang yuan', convincing her that she sure could go through another year being healthy. Denying, denying and denying. We all knew that she would go soon, but half of us were still thinking positive, awaiting miracle. In the end, she went. But in the way she wanted, at home. Peaceful. I remember hearing the last breath, and we all went in one by one to touch her icy hands. Goodness sake, why and how did I come to writing this?? Guess it's the first thing to think about regarding the word 'sad'.
I realised that recently when I start the music in my media player, I skip the songs I used to sing. Now I’m unintentionally looking for songs I've never heard before. Thanks to the CD I bought at Cheras pasar malam that night. I didn't know that it would turn out so useful now, the songs and lyrics just really suits my mood now. Sad but encouraging lyrics. But why had I picked that CD?? As though my sense knew it before me. Recently it's like good days and bad days are quite predictable, 'coz it really turned out like one day good one day bad. So since today(I mean yesterday) is a not so good day, tomorrow(today) will be a good one!! Had the weirdest dream ever too last night. It’s like related to things happening now, not in a way totally out! I wonder what the dream is hinting me...I always wanted to know what my dreams stands for, but most of the time I think it's better not to know. It's like kinda scary to know... less dreams please...
Yen always said I'm always very 'mao-dun'. Yalo, I know.
Mexen always call me not to think so much. Trying not to. But if they appear in my dreams, what can I do?
Kim always said she'll be there to support and share with me my ups and downs. Thanks.
Joo call me to be bad to people to be kind to myself. Hahaha. Hmm...something like that la.
Yeh always call me to 'guai la'. Already very 'guai' liao la.
Saji is someone new I can talk to.
Bear sometimes has magic. i told him. but when i tell him he no magic liao. haha.
Qiang always wish me to be in pink. pink wor.
Ben always call me to jiayou together and sweet dreamzzz. Jiayou ok. I wanna reduce dreaming la.
Ying always call me smile like I always do, and things will sure be better and I'll have a better tomorrow. I still always smile.
I told ma n pa that I miss home.
Pa said if got one week holiday then can go home. But I only got 2days la. But pa very nice to talk to...this year...hehe.
Ma said she can solve every problem that makes my mood bad with pa's help, unless I'm the cause myself. Wah wah wah. But I said I'm the cause and refuse to share. Hoh.
Sandra always said she cannot tahan see me good good girl. I told her I'm already very 'loud' in sbux. She just laugh and shook her head. But I think I know how she's thinking about me. Getting to like her. Hehe. Herry and Baim treats me nice. Sandra & Zana & Regi likes to give me pressure, I feel. But getting used to it. Seldom do people see that I'm sad, but this SuAnn is telling me that I look sad when I'm actually smiling, I don't how she even knew. But in the end I successfully convinced her by being as normal as I can. JooHieng gave me a card and made my day. Syed left his drink for a long time not drinking it coz I pumped his name & a smiley face on it. I found out & laughed at him then he tickled me. Shit, make me got blue-black for knocking the rack. I just passed on what I had on the 2nd day of work when Wilson pumped a big smiley face on my hot chocolate. Always a little thing can make someone's day :)
Half doing assignment. Writing blog. Waiting for the moon(s) to appear. Tipu tipu tipu!!! Cannot even see the real moon, how to see the 2nd moon wor? Ishh... sleepy already la. I would have called some people with excitement if I saw, who cares if you're sleeping!! But disappointment only la...herrrr~ 1:39am
Still can't see moon!! Grrrrrrrr...... sleep liao. 2:09am.
28/8/2006 22:10
I'm at the POS position today when one of my customers suddenly asked me, “Hi how are you? Are you smiling to me coz we talked also that day?” I was like “errmmm...sorry sir but I can't remember...”, feeling bit the guilty but not expecting myself to remember the 'so many' customers. Then he told me, “Haha, it's ok, dun worry. You've got a great smile, keep it up!” hohoho...shy shy...
Another customer asked me the same thing twice. First time I didn't know what he said so I just said hi. Second time he asked me again, and I asked if I could help him. Third time he said louder, “Hi how are you?” hahaha, I was so paiseh...and he was laughing at me. Goodness sake.
There was snapshot today. Scary. Every month there'll be, and we never know when. Just that while working halfway, suddenly you see a flash, then a camera. Then you have to pretend you didn't see it. Gosh. Terrible experience.
29/8/2006 21:29
Regi accidentally kena my waist and I made a funny sound and my body went forward. He thought it was funny and did it again and again, shite. Then once I was drinking water and he did it, and I was running after him and he ran past the bar! Gosh, so embarrassing...luckily no customers. Where got manager macam ni one??
I always look happy? Sometimes I feel that I'm cheating myself, but even the smile just come out like that. When people ask me 'Are you very happy today?' sometimes I dunno how to answer, coz I wasn't really that happy...so I just answered 'It's good to smile!' then the couple just said 'Yeah, you look really happy.' And they smiled too :) well well, I realised that I keep talking about my smiles recently, but people are the ones who keep telling me... sometimes I wish I could change some of the smiles with tears.
I hate it when I have to wait for the bus alone or when I walk back from work. It's the time when my brains keep working! Usually on stupid things, the impossibles...or maybe sometimes the truth, I dunno...sometimes I wish I could dream on, sometimes I wish I would knock my head and wake up ^_^ But life itself is a dream. Good dreams, bad dreams. Imagination has no age. And dreams are forever.
31/8/2006 00:07
Darling it's your birthday. I've another something for you. Just found it tonite and remembered that I saved it for your 24th birthday while seeing my photos just now... it's actually something I wrote like 3 or 4 years back, haha. It's like been years I'm not there to celebrate with you liao... miss you la =.=
Today :) heehee...just counting. For myself. Gonna record everyday, kekeke.
Okies, back to sien sien assignment...while everybody else is out there counting down. I hear fireworks, but can't see wo. Zhun-zhun I'm facing the wall. They're all shouting MERDEKA!!! Walao eh, still got youngsters so cinta Negara one oh. Haha. Reminds me of the 远征 we had to shout Merdeka 10 times at Padang Merdeka. Hahaha.
MERDEKA!!! MERDEKA!!! MERDEKA!!! Hehe...i don't mind shouting this year coz Malaysia's 49 years old!! Beautiful age!! MERDEKA!!!
31/8/2006 22:10
Today at work everyone was really happy. Haha. Perfecto!!
Came yen's place to search internet info, then chat with long lost jac & penny. How nice.
1/9/2006 21:18
I accidentally slept at about 2am after bath and viewing old photos. Woke up 8am sharp with no alarm's help. Feeling really bad. Luckily I remembered it's kim's bday today. It's like few days I'm quite ok already, but the terrible mood is back today. Went to work feeling bad, met a taxi driver yang cakap banyak pula. Wilson said I looked not energetic today. Blah. Also had a jab today. Goodness sake. Why of all days choose today? Needle foebia eh. Went with Boywin the new guy, who's also a needle foebia. Ngai ti. Luckily it wasn't too terrible, but my hand feels abit 'soft' now. He tells us that we can call him Boy, which I think sounds weird if I call him Boy. Chinese who doesn't look Chinese. ChewLing might be leaving soon...the girl who always has a British accent when talking to customers.
Next mission: Stay awake till I finish my assignment. /cry. No choice, tomorrow due ^_^
2/9/2006 3:32
世界有时候孤单的很需要另一个同类
有没有别人跟我一样很想被安慰
我还不清楚怎样的速度符合这世界变化的脚步
用我的双眼在梦想里找路
该问路的时候我不会装酷
下起雨也要勇敢前进
我相信一切都会平息
我现在好想回家去
天黑黑 欲下雨 天黑黑 黑黑
---孙燕姿
I have always wondered why I usually only sang songs with 'happy' lyrics. I thought it's just me, always liking to be positive. Even when ahMah was going to die, seeing her struggling in her room that night, seeing her anger trying to hold the bottle herself, making her hardest effort to talk but the voice just couldn’t come out, then suddenly the next day she was like normal again. I made myself believe that she'd be ok, feeding her with the 'tang yuan', convincing her that she sure could go through another year being healthy. Denying, denying and denying. We all knew that she would go soon, but half of us were still thinking positive, awaiting miracle. In the end, she went. But in the way she wanted, at home. Peaceful. I remember hearing the last breath, and we all went in one by one to touch her icy hands. Goodness sake, why and how did I come to writing this?? Guess it's the first thing to think about regarding the word 'sad'.
I realised that recently when I start the music in my media player, I skip the songs I used to sing. Now I’m unintentionally looking for songs I've never heard before. Thanks to the CD I bought at Cheras pasar malam that night. I didn't know that it would turn out so useful now, the songs and lyrics just really suits my mood now. Sad but encouraging lyrics. But why had I picked that CD?? As though my sense knew it before me. Recently it's like good days and bad days are quite predictable, 'coz it really turned out like one day good one day bad. So since today(I mean yesterday) is a not so good day, tomorrow(today) will be a good one!! Had the weirdest dream ever too last night. It’s like related to things happening now, not in a way totally out! I wonder what the dream is hinting me...I always wanted to know what my dreams stands for, but most of the time I think it's better not to know. It's like kinda scary to know... less dreams please...
Yen always said I'm always very 'mao-dun'. Yalo, I know.
Mexen always call me not to think so much. Trying not to. But if they appear in my dreams, what can I do?
Kim always said she'll be there to support and share with me my ups and downs. Thanks.
Joo call me to be bad to people to be kind to myself. Hahaha. Hmm...something like that la.
Yeh always call me to 'guai la'. Already very 'guai' liao la.
Saji is someone new I can talk to.
Bear sometimes has magic. i told him. but when i tell him he no magic liao. haha.
Qiang always wish me to be in pink. pink wor.
Ben always call me to jiayou together and sweet dreamzzz. Jiayou ok. I wanna reduce dreaming la.
Ying always call me smile like I always do, and things will sure be better and I'll have a better tomorrow. I still always smile.
I told ma n pa that I miss home.
Pa said if got one week holiday then can go home. But I only got 2days la. But pa very nice to talk to...this year...hehe.
Ma said she can solve every problem that makes my mood bad with pa's help, unless I'm the cause myself. Wah wah wah. But I said I'm the cause and refuse to share. Hoh.
Sandra always said she cannot tahan see me good good girl. I told her I'm already very 'loud' in sbux. She just laugh and shook her head. But I think I know how she's thinking about me. Getting to like her. Hehe. Herry and Baim treats me nice. Sandra & Zana & Regi likes to give me pressure, I feel. But getting used to it. Seldom do people see that I'm sad, but this SuAnn is telling me that I look sad when I'm actually smiling, I don't how she even knew. But in the end I successfully convinced her by being as normal as I can. JooHieng gave me a card and made my day. Syed left his drink for a long time not drinking it coz I pumped his name & a smiley face on it. I found out & laughed at him then he tickled me. Shit, make me got blue-black for knocking the rack. I just passed on what I had on the 2nd day of work when Wilson pumped a big smiley face on my hot chocolate. Always a little thing can make someone's day :)
Half doing assignment. Writing blog. Waiting for the moon(s) to appear. Tipu tipu tipu!!! Cannot even see the real moon, how to see the 2nd moon wor? Ishh... sleepy already la. I would have called some people with excitement if I saw, who cares if you're sleeping!! But disappointment only la...herrrr~ 1:39am
Still can't see moon!! Grrrrrrrr...... sleep liao. 2:09am.
28/8/2006 22:10
I'm at the POS position today when one of my customers suddenly asked me, “Hi how are you? Are you smiling to me coz we talked also that day?” I was like “errmmm...sorry sir but I can't remember...”, feeling bit the guilty but not expecting myself to remember the 'so many' customers. Then he told me, “Haha, it's ok, dun worry. You've got a great smile, keep it up!” hohoho...shy shy...
Another customer asked me the same thing twice. First time I didn't know what he said so I just said hi. Second time he asked me again, and I asked if I could help him. Third time he said louder, “Hi how are you?” hahaha, I was so paiseh...and he was laughing at me. Goodness sake.
There was snapshot today. Scary. Every month there'll be, and we never know when. Just that while working halfway, suddenly you see a flash, then a camera. Then you have to pretend you didn't see it. Gosh. Terrible experience.
29/8/2006 21:29
Regi accidentally kena my waist and I made a funny sound and my body went forward. He thought it was funny and did it again and again, shite. Then once I was drinking water and he did it, and I was running after him and he ran past the bar! Gosh, so embarrassing...luckily no customers. Where got manager macam ni one??
I always look happy? Sometimes I feel that I'm cheating myself, but even the smile just come out like that. When people ask me 'Are you very happy today?' sometimes I dunno how to answer, coz I wasn't really that happy...so I just answered 'It's good to smile!' then the couple just said 'Yeah, you look really happy.' And they smiled too :) well well, I realised that I keep talking about my smiles recently, but people are the ones who keep telling me... sometimes I wish I could change some of the smiles with tears.
I hate it when I have to wait for the bus alone or when I walk back from work. It's the time when my brains keep working! Usually on stupid things, the impossibles...or maybe sometimes the truth, I dunno...sometimes I wish I could dream on, sometimes I wish I would knock my head and wake up ^_^ But life itself is a dream. Good dreams, bad dreams. Imagination has no age. And dreams are forever.
31/8/2006 00:07
Darling it's your birthday. I've another something for you. Just found it tonite and remembered that I saved it for your 24th birthday while seeing my photos just now... it's actually something I wrote like 3 or 4 years back, haha. It's like been years I'm not there to celebrate with you liao... miss you la =.=
Today :) heehee...just counting. For myself. Gonna record everyday, kekeke.
Okies, back to sien sien assignment...while everybody else is out there counting down. I hear fireworks, but can't see wo. Zhun-zhun I'm facing the wall. They're all shouting MERDEKA!!! Walao eh, still got youngsters so cinta Negara one oh. Haha. Reminds me of the 远征 we had to shout Merdeka 10 times at Padang Merdeka. Hahaha.
MERDEKA!!! MERDEKA!!! MERDEKA!!! Hehe...i don't mind shouting this year coz Malaysia's 49 years old!! Beautiful age!! MERDEKA!!!
31/8/2006 22:10
Today at work everyone was really happy. Haha. Perfecto!!
Came yen's place to search internet info, then chat with long lost jac & penny. How nice.
1/9/2006 21:18
I accidentally slept at about 2am after bath and viewing old photos. Woke up 8am sharp with no alarm's help. Feeling really bad. Luckily I remembered it's kim's bday today. It's like few days I'm quite ok already, but the terrible mood is back today. Went to work feeling bad, met a taxi driver yang cakap banyak pula. Wilson said I looked not energetic today. Blah. Also had a jab today. Goodness sake. Why of all days choose today? Needle foebia eh. Went with Boywin the new guy, who's also a needle foebia. Ngai ti. Luckily it wasn't too terrible, but my hand feels abit 'soft' now. He tells us that we can call him Boy, which I think sounds weird if I call him Boy. Chinese who doesn't look Chinese. ChewLing might be leaving soon...the girl who always has a British accent when talking to customers.
Next mission: Stay awake till I finish my assignment. /cry. No choice, tomorrow due ^_^
2/9/2006 3:32
世界有时候孤单的很需要另一个同类
有没有别人跟我一样很想被安慰
我还不清楚怎样的速度符合这世界变化的脚步
用我的双眼在梦想里找路
该问路的时候我不会装酷
下起雨也要勇敢前进
我相信一切都会平息
我现在好想回家去
天黑黑 欲下雨 天黑黑 黑黑
---孙燕姿
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Just to release some tension, i guess :>
I’ve always been a baby at home..so dependent on all the people I love, but now I’m forcing myself to be brave..is this right?
I’m actually very scared to face all these circumstances alone…but how else can I act so as not to make my loved ones more worried?
I hate to make decisions, but realised that sometimes I’m actually making a lot of decisions on my own and behalf of others already, and they just follow without complaints. Thanx :)
I hate being the middle-person, but can’t decide on which side to stand on. Maybe i'm too greedy? I hate this me. but i hate conflicts more.
I have problems telling my feelings, but I’m trying hard.
I like my big hand and long fingers, but why some people keep telling me it’s unlucky? Please, you don’t have to tell me. Lucky or unlucky, I’m born to be.
Daddy & mummy is very proud that I’m born on the day I’m born, coz there’re special reasons behind…so of coz I like my birth date too. And my birthdays always seem to be wonderful. I love April.
I’m feeling so cold right now I don’t feel like writing anymore. Better sleep to have more energy to face new challenges tomorrow.
I don't know why i'm writing this, just spontaneously. And very out of topic. Haha.
I’m actually very scared to face all these circumstances alone…but how else can I act so as not to make my loved ones more worried?
I hate to make decisions, but realised that sometimes I’m actually making a lot of decisions on my own and behalf of others already, and they just follow without complaints. Thanx :)
I hate being the middle-person, but can’t decide on which side to stand on. Maybe i'm too greedy? I hate this me. but i hate conflicts more.
I have problems telling my feelings, but I’m trying hard.
I like my big hand and long fingers, but why some people keep telling me it’s unlucky? Please, you don’t have to tell me. Lucky or unlucky, I’m born to be.
Daddy & mummy is very proud that I’m born on the day I’m born, coz there’re special reasons behind…so of coz I like my birth date too. And my birthdays always seem to be wonderful. I love April.
I’m feeling so cold right now I don’t feel like writing anymore. Better sleep to have more energy to face new challenges tomorrow.
I don't know why i'm writing this, just spontaneously. And very out of topic. Haha.
F.R.I.E.N.D.S.
I miss my best friends so much...
Life is so devastating without the bestest friends around...
especially during bad times...
Although you know that they're always supporting you,
but still, they're really far far away...
i wish i could feel their presence more...
which means i have to dream more.
aiyo...people ah...people...
why can people miss people so much???
Life is so devastating without the bestest friends around...
especially during bad times...
Although you know that they're always supporting you,
but still, they're really far far away...
i wish i could feel their presence more...
which means i have to dream more.
aiyo...people ah...people...
why can people miss people so much???
Saturday, June 24, 2006
Gie is dowN......
can u believe it? it's the first time in my life i drank a whole can of Heineken beer on my own!! burping non-stop, haha. mum is surprised as i just took a can from the fridge and told her but didn't explain anything. she didn't stop me either. hmmm. i don't know why i'm feelin' like that. well..actually i kinda know too. hai~ ignore this post whoever's reading this. it's just duhh.
Friday, June 02, 2006
Yeah, yeah!!
hehehe!!! just here to announce that i'm going home TODAY!!! Yeah!! Yeah!! i'm so excited!! and still not sleeping in this early morning! only sien that i'm flying alone la...anyways, as long as i'm going home!! That's the priority HAPPINESS :> hohoho
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
shopping?? NO!!
When would this happen? wooo...recently like not a single mood to go shopping. can u imagine, walking 20mins & taking a train all the way to Midvalley, then walk for an hour plus, then decided to take the train back & walk another 20mins home. pathetic. but i really didn't have the mood to shop. i didn't even try a shirt! or should say i didn't even step into a "shirt shop". juz busy looking for mama's ear-rings. then daddy's & yen's "bak-kua". fuiyo~ i juz had to say NO to shopping. hmm...might be different if my shopaholic sista is here? haha.
Sunday, May 28, 2006
Sunway Lagoon
Yen & Mexen decided to go Sunway Lagoon b4 their finals. So me & Eugene were to join the fun!! hehe. our so-called warm-up is the roller-coaster! which was quite SYOK, good warm-up!! It seems that i'm always going to Sunway Lagoon in 4. That time, yeh, joo, quan & me. now us 4. Much have been renovated & it's more fun now. yeah!! except for the Pirate Ship...i prefer the old one. Oh ye, the two tigers became very lively! Sad thing we didn't bring a camera. duhh...eugene & mexen thought i'd bring, and yen & me thought he'd bring!! what a coincidence??
Saturday, May 27, 2006
SUPER emotional day :(
Today’s my last day working in this kinder. I’m sad to leave, actually. But I know I’m leaving for good reasons, no regrets hopefully. Everybody there seems to be sadder than I am, crying and crying. I talk, they just look at me. I try to laugh & joke, but finding myself to be just an idiot clowning alone. I say bye-bye, hit me. I hug them, cry. Sayang them, cry more. What should I do? I just won’t cry. I seem to always cry for no reasons, and can’t cry when the chances come. I’m a weirdo. Hah.
This whole week I really could feel the sad departure…I actually drew a book for my kids!! And gave them each a copy with 3pages of photos in front…I’m really so happy to see them appreciating it so much...flipping & flipping the book, reading it, colouring it, making it crumpled, pointing at my face & laugh, searching for their own faces……it was such a pleasure, a warm feeling. I felt the bond between me & them. I love them. And it’s great to feel the love back. As for the adults, I gave them each a card, written my true feelings & even some confessions. Haha, it just came out as I wrote.
I had quite a few presents… some sweet, some cute, and one really sad. i'll show the sad doggie.
This whole week I really could feel the sad departure…I actually drew a book for my kids!! And gave them each a copy with 3pages of photos in front…I’m really so happy to see them appreciating it so much...flipping & flipping the book, reading it, colouring it, making it crumpled, pointing at my face & laugh, searching for their own faces……it was such a pleasure, a warm feeling. I felt the bond between me & them. I love them. And it’s great to feel the love back. As for the adults, I gave them each a card, written my true feelings & even some confessions. Haha, it just came out as I wrote.
I had quite a few presents… some sweet, some cute, and one really sad. i'll show the sad doggie.
sad eh? the eyes of this doggie is really like filled with tears! whoever invented this?? omigosh...
when it was really rime to leave, the worst part was Eria crying like it's the end of the world. she's the only one who felt it. others might just think i'm joking or whatever, most won't even understand la. what do you expect from a bunch of 3 and a half year olds? But Eria wouldn't let me go & They had to grab her. that was REALLY sad. then NadiAAA gave me the biggest kiss i've ever had in my whole life. a really big & heavy kiss on my left cheek until my teeth hurts abit. wowhh!!
From these 9-months experience, i've grown a little again. heh. well, usually i'd think that i'm someone really small in this world, it doesn't matter whether i exist or not. Well, now i think my existence is important. hehe. family wise, i'm important! girlfriend wise, ermm..i hope. friend wise, yea, i think so. think i've the power for keeping friends being friends.(if u understand, heh) colleague wise, yep. but the thing i've gotta sacrifice is being the middle-person. kinder-teacher wise, i think i'm improving.
All these years i always feel that how much better it'd be if some part of me was like XXX or XXX or whoever. i dunno what's good about me. But through workforce, i've mixed with all kinds of ppl, mostly elder than me, and realised that some ppl are hoping to be like me? i dunno, but i feel weird, especially when they talk to me about it! "How can you be so ...... as a young girl? ......" But now i know that being my real self is the best, and always will be. (i should have known, and i knew, but never really trusting it) silly me, coz some ppl are actually appreciating the real me :) especially yindeh, yeh, kim, joo & bendie. and thanx for knowing me more than i know myself, sometimes.
Thursday, May 25, 2006
= nadiAAA & hAAAngie =
Angie, hangie, pangie, kanjie, tangie, fangie pudding n pie..
kissed d boys n then al die..
wen d boys cme out 2 play..
c c al of them were gay!
Supposedly a nursery rhyme:
Georgie Porgie pudding & pie,
Kissed the girls & made them cry,
When the boys came out to play,
Georgie Porgie ran away!
Most ppl call her Nad or juz Nadia. She said I’m the only one calling her NadiAAA. So she decided to call me hAAAngie. Okie dokies, I dun mind.
It’s NadiAAA’s birthday today. She’s taken leave coz it’s her birthday. How nice eh? “birthday leave”. Used to her being absent anyways. Haha. I don’t know why I never get angry though I had to take over her work & be very tired & had to shout a lot sometimes due to their hyper-activeness. Maybe I’m the only one there knowing the real reasons she’s taking leaves? Maybe only I tried putting myself in her situation? Maybe I enjoyed fully taking over the class once in a while? Or maybe I’m just being silly or good? Whatever.
kissed d boys n then al die..
wen d boys cme out 2 play..
c c al of them were gay!
Supposedly a nursery rhyme:
Georgie Porgie pudding & pie,
Kissed the girls & made them cry,
When the boys came out to play,
Georgie Porgie ran away!
Most ppl call her Nad or juz Nadia. She said I’m the only one calling her NadiAAA. So she decided to call me hAAAngie. Okie dokies, I dun mind.
It’s NadiAAA’s birthday today. She’s taken leave coz it’s her birthday. How nice eh? “birthday leave”. Used to her being absent anyways. Haha. I don’t know why I never get angry though I had to take over her work & be very tired & had to shout a lot sometimes due to their hyper-activeness. Maybe I’m the only one there knowing the real reasons she’s taking leaves? Maybe only I tried putting myself in her situation? Maybe I enjoyed fully taking over the class once in a while? Or maybe I’m just being silly or good? Whatever.
Sunday, May 07, 2006
Great poem!!
This poem was nominated for the best poem of 2005, written by an African kid.
When I born, I black.
When I grow up, I black.
When I go and sun, I black.
When I scared, I black.
When I sick, I black.
And when I die, I still black!
And you white fella,
When you born, you pink.
When you grow up, you white.
When you go and sun, you red.
When you cold, you blue.
When you scared, you yellow.
When you sick, you green.
And when you die, you grey.
And you calling me colored??
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Monday, April 17, 2006
Saturday, April 15, 2006
the idiot and the idiotic XXX
love to smile. yea. but at the correct time. yea.
today has been a tough day. i finally said it out! omigosh. should feel like something big has been released. but no, tension juga. it's only the first day since i said it and i'm already feeling so terrible. i never knew that i was such a big influence to them. something to feel proud of, but makes me sad-der to leave too. some more today a 3yr-old came with a chocolate cake specially for teacher angie!! i'm not even his class teacher! (only spending the afternoon-one-hours with him!) asked him why gimme the cake. "coz u like mah." then he juz kept smiling. i was too happy to even talk. i only remembered that i scolded him till he cried and hit me that day. all i can manage that time was a hug for him.
well, in the car. jane was crying. terkejut, then all the way home i dunno what to say. went to pick up her fren, and she made me join her yam-cha. so i ended up sitting on the coffee table with an ahpek & 2 ahmu(s). burrRP!! after that i walked home. i smiled to the first thing i saw on the way back. only that the other party was looking at me as if "who the hell are you?" only i realised that he was a CAT!! hahaha :D i smiled to a cat??? omigosh~ can't believe it mien!!! i smiled to a totally black idiotic cat!!! well, should say that i'm the idiot =P
reached home and i got another bday necklace from mexen & boyboy. ma said nai gimme angpow today gok, but at home la. lee cheche gave me a shirt exactly like hers pula 2 days ago. wow, this year's birthday is lonnnnnnnnnng! celebrated since the 2nd. wooooooohoo~
today has been a tough day. i finally said it out! omigosh. should feel like something big has been released. but no, tension juga. it's only the first day since i said it and i'm already feeling so terrible. i never knew that i was such a big influence to them. something to feel proud of, but makes me sad-der to leave too. some more today a 3yr-old came with a chocolate cake specially for teacher angie!! i'm not even his class teacher! (only spending the afternoon-one-hours with him!) asked him why gimme the cake. "coz u like mah." then he juz kept smiling. i was too happy to even talk. i only remembered that i scolded him till he cried and hit me that day. all i can manage that time was a hug for him.
well, in the car. jane was crying. terkejut, then all the way home i dunno what to say. went to pick up her fren, and she made me join her yam-cha. so i ended up sitting on the coffee table with an ahpek & 2 ahmu(s). burrRP!! after that i walked home. i smiled to the first thing i saw on the way back. only that the other party was looking at me as if "who the hell are you?" only i realised that he was a CAT!! hahaha :D i smiled to a cat??? omigosh~ can't believe it mien!!! i smiled to a totally black idiotic cat!!! well, should say that i'm the idiot =P
reached home and i got another bday necklace from mexen & boyboy. ma said nai gimme angpow today gok, but at home la. lee cheche gave me a shirt exactly like hers pula 2 days ago. wow, this year's birthday is lonnnnnnnnnng! celebrated since the 2nd. wooooooohoo~
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
little little hopes
like you wrote:
fragile is the tiny heart
as strong as it tries to be
longing only for a soft reflection
but blankness creeps in silently
how nice if these little little hopes of ours bloomed more often?
fragile is the tiny heart
as strong as it tries to be
longing only for a soft reflection
but blankness creeps in silently
how nice if these little little hopes of ours bloomed more often?
Angie, your true color is Green!
You're green, the color of growth and vigor. Good-hearted and giving, you have a knack for finding and bringing out the best in people. Green is the most down-to-earth color in the spectrum — reliable and trustworthy. People know they can count on you to be around in times of need, since your concern for people is genuine and sincere. You take pride in being a good friend. For you, success is measured in terms of personal achievement and growth, not by status or position. Rare as emeralds, greens are wonderful, natural people. It truly is your color!
hah, this is the result from the Tickle test. and i like it :)
hah, this is the result from the Tickle test. and i like it :)
Sunday, April 02, 2006
i want ME back!!
"The art of life is to know how to enjoy a little and to endure very much." -- William Hazlitt
i just saw that quote and learnt a new word, endure. art of life wor. so kelian one ah. enjoy little, endure much. haiih.
Many things seem to be happening these two weeks. some are bad, but there're good ones. but i dunno why i'm just feeling not right. others might not realise but i can feel the stupid idiotic fake smile myself. yerrr~ why like dat?! i don't like this ME. please get me back... :(
For now, i can only sum up everything i've learned about life in three words: it goes on.
i just saw that quote and learnt a new word, endure. art of life wor. so kelian one ah. enjoy little, endure much. haiih.
Many things seem to be happening these two weeks. some are bad, but there're good ones. but i dunno why i'm just feeling not right. others might not realise but i can feel the stupid idiotic fake smile myself. yerrr~ why like dat?! i don't like this ME. please get me back... :(
For now, i can only sum up everything i've learned about life in three words: it goes on.
Saturday, March 25, 2006
给我力量！
2006年3月24日。你好吗？我不好。竟敢朦喳喳到差点给电单车撞倒！感觉上一整个礼拜都不好，不过却一副若无其事的老模样。相信在这陌生的地方没有人会看穿我。
忽然一直期待、从来听不厌的信息声响了……“多微笑少苦恼，若不笑心浮燥，胡乱笑没必要，开心笑心境好，苦心笑人易老，欺人笑少为妙，会心笑有礼貌，成功笑不骄傲，如何笑心知道，愿你快乐每一天。”有时很讨厌fwd msg，不过这封好像来得正好。看了蛮安慰的。他说昨天第一次看我发脾气。莫名其妙，做么会酱说？你骂我。哈哈，有吗？（回想昨天）谁叫你miscall错时间啊？活该。我只说再惹我的话我会骂人啊，哈哈。
上课时简直不能专心。一gang七个，只有两个到。我们还是答应对方会出席才去的咧，她生病，我心情超down累死。不过很高兴彼此可以发泄啦，毕竟目前她与我遭遇差不多，比较了解彼此心情。
谢谢有安全巴士。回来后在小亭里坐着讲电话。地板多肮脏也不管了，只知道我非常需要那一股力量！他的魔力就是这么神奇。原本要说的很多东西，很多都没说出口。一瞬间，烦恼很多都被无聊的埋怨声和笑声掩盖了。没有特别的话题，却能感到那份温暖。这时候的时间总是过得很快……我忘记跟妈妈报平安！结果被骂到爽。
宵夜。应该是晚餐吧。回来这里，就是准备倾听她的烦恼。习惯了。不过无所谓，只要我拿回了力量 ：）
忽然一直期待、从来听不厌的信息声响了……“多微笑少苦恼，若不笑心浮燥，胡乱笑没必要，开心笑心境好，苦心笑人易老，欺人笑少为妙，会心笑有礼貌，成功笑不骄傲，如何笑心知道，愿你快乐每一天。”有时很讨厌fwd msg，不过这封好像来得正好。看了蛮安慰的。他说昨天第一次看我发脾气。莫名其妙，做么会酱说？你骂我。哈哈，有吗？（回想昨天）谁叫你miscall错时间啊？活该。我只说再惹我的话我会骂人啊，哈哈。
上课时简直不能专心。一gang七个，只有两个到。我们还是答应对方会出席才去的咧，她生病，我心情超down累死。不过很高兴彼此可以发泄啦，毕竟目前她与我遭遇差不多，比较了解彼此心情。
谢谢有安全巴士。回来后在小亭里坐着讲电话。地板多肮脏也不管了，只知道我非常需要那一股力量！他的魔力就是这么神奇。原本要说的很多东西，很多都没说出口。一瞬间，烦恼很多都被无聊的埋怨声和笑声掩盖了。没有特别的话题，却能感到那份温暖。这时候的时间总是过得很快……我忘记跟妈妈报平安！结果被骂到爽。
宵夜。应该是晚餐吧。回来这里，就是准备倾听她的烦恼。习惯了。不过无所谓，只要我拿回了力量 ：）
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
look young vs look matured
hmm...some ppl juz love to look mature, but me, only at times. coz most of the time i prefer to look young! but there're situations when u feel awkward or dunno how to even react. e.g.
-- going out with a friend your same age, then a person daringly said that your friend looks like 25yr-old, and kept calling you 小妹妹, how's that feeling?
-- out with a fren whom ppl said is your brother. even with real siblings ppl seldom said we look alike. one said i'm his older sister, one said i'm his younger sister. so???
-- ppl guessing your age, like dun dare to guess. there's one experience a woman ask her kids to call me "aunty-che che". (coz i was with my colleague and they're 40+) omigosh. please la. can't forget that.
well, well, whatever. most importantly, be happy. and feel young :)
-- going out with a friend your same age, then a person daringly said that your friend looks like 25yr-old, and kept calling you 小妹妹, how's that feeling?
-- out with a fren whom ppl said is your brother. even with real siblings ppl seldom said we look alike. one said i'm his older sister, one said i'm his younger sister. so???
-- ppl guessing your age, like dun dare to guess. there's one experience a woman ask her kids to call me "aunty-che che". (coz i was with my colleague and they're 40+) omigosh. please la. can't forget that.
well, well, whatever. most importantly, be happy. and feel young :)
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