shopping?? NO!!

When would this happen? wooo...recently like not a single mood to go shopping. can u imagine, walking 20mins & taking a train all the way to Midvalley, then walk for an hour plus, then decided to take the train back & walk another 20mins home. pathetic. but i really didn't have the mood to shop. i didn't even try a shirt! or should say i didn't even step into a "shirt shop". juz busy looking for mama's ear-rings. then daddy's & yen's "bak-kua". fuiyo~ i juz had to say NO to shopping. hmm...might be different if my shopaholic sista is here? haha.

Sunway Lagoon

Yen & Mexen decided to go Sunway Lagoon b4 their finals. So me & Eugene were to join the fun!! hehe. our so-called warm-up is the roller-coaster! which was quite SYOK, good warm-up!! It seems that i'm always going to Sunway Lagoon in 4. That time, yeh, joo, quan & me. now us 4. Much have been renovated & it's more fun now. yeah!! except for the Pirate Ship...i prefer the old one. Oh ye, the two tigers became very lively! Sad thing we didn't bring a camera. duhh...eugene & mexen thought i'd bring, and yen & me thought he'd bring!! what a coincidence??

SUPER emotional day :(

Today’s my last day working in this kinder. I’m sad to leave, actually. But I know I’m leaving for good reasons, no regrets hopefully. Everybody there seems to be sadder than I am, crying and crying. I talk, they just look at me. I try to laugh & joke, but finding myself to be just an idiot clowning alone. I say bye-bye, hit me. I hug them, cry. Sayang them, cry more. What should I do? I just won’t cry. I seem to always cry for no reasons, and can’t cry when the chances come. I’m a weirdo. Hah.

This whole week I really could feel the sad departure…I actually drew a book for my kids!! And gave them each a copy with 3pages of photos in front…I’m really so happy to see them appreciating it so much...flipping & flipping the book, reading it, colouring it, making it crumpled, pointing at my face & laugh, searching for their own faces……it was such a pleasure, a warm feeling. I felt the bond between me & them. I love them. And it’s great to feel the love back. As for the adults, I gave them each a card, written my true feelings & even some confessions. Haha, it just came out as I wrote.

I had quite a few presents… some sweet, some cute, and one really sad. i'll show the sad doggie.

sad eh? the eyes of this doggie is really like filled with tears! whoever invented this?? omigosh...

when it was really rime to leave, the worst part was Eria crying like it's the end of the world. she's the only one who felt it. others might just think i'm joking or whatever, most won't even understand la. what do you expect from a bunch of 3 and a half year olds? But Eria wouldn't let me go & They had to grab her. that was REALLY sad. then NadiAAA gave me the biggest kiss i've ever had in my whole life. a really big & heavy kiss on my left cheek until my teeth hurts abit. wowhh!!

From these 9-months experience, i've grown a little again. heh. well, usually i'd think that i'm someone really small in this world, it doesn't matter whether i exist or not. Well, now i think my existence is important. hehe. family wise, i'm important! girlfriend wise, ermm..i hope. friend wise, yea, i think so. think i've the power for keeping friends being friends.(if u understand, heh) colleague wise, yep. but the thing i've gotta sacrifice is being the middle-person. kinder-teacher wise, i think i'm improving.

All these years i always feel that how much better it'd be if some part of me was like XXX or XXX or whoever. i dunno what's good about me. But through workforce, i've mixed with all kinds of ppl, mostly elder than me, and realised that some ppl are hoping to be like me? i dunno, but i feel weird, especially when they talk to me about it! "How can you be so ...... as a young girl? ......" But now i know that being my real self is the best, and always will be. (i should have known, and i knew, but never really trusting it) silly me, coz some ppl are actually appreciating the real me :) especially yindeh, yeh, kim, joo & bendie. and thanx for knowing me more than i know myself, sometimes.

= nadiAAA & hAAAngie =

Angie, hangie, pangie, kanjie, tangie, fangie pudding n pie..
kissed d boys n then al die..
wen d boys cme out 2 play..
c c al of them were gay!

Supposedly a nursery rhyme:
Georgie Porgie pudding & pie,
Kissed the girls & made them cry,
When the boys came out to play,
Georgie Porgie ran away!

Most ppl call her Nad or juz Nadia. She said I’m the only one calling her NadiAAA. So she decided to call me hAAAngie. Okie dokies, I dun mind.

It’s NadiAAA’s birthday today. She’s taken leave coz it’s her birthday. How nice eh? “birthday leave”. Used to her being absent anyways. Haha. I don’t know why I never get angry though I had to take over her work & be very tired & had to shout a lot sometimes due to their hyper-activeness. Maybe I’m the only one there knowing the real reasons she’s taking leaves? Maybe only I tried putting myself in her situation? Maybe I enjoyed fully taking over the class once in a while? Or maybe I’m just being silly or good? Whatever.

Great poem!!

This poem was nominated for the best poem of 2005, written by an African kid.

When I born, I black.
When I grow up, I black.
When I go and sun, I black.
When I scared, I black.
When I sick, I black.
And when I die, I still black!
And you white fella,
When you born, you pink.
When you grow up, you white.
When you go and sun, you red.
When you cold, you blue.
When you scared, you yellow.
When you sick, you green.
And when you die, you grey.
And you calling me colored??

What a puzzle?
Four-piece puzzle.
Turn from every angle,
Just to make it single!
Giggle gaggle,
Wiggle waggle...
Doodle doodle,
Cannot twinkle!
Four-piece puzzle,
What a puzzle!

when i'm sad,
i get mad, or even bad!
i had to write in my EROS pad,
but wad the heck?
i dunno how to write, suddenly.
i want my dad,
and i need me lad...
why aren't you by me side?

the idiot and the idiotic XXX

love to smile. yea. but at the correct time. yea.
today has been a tough day. i finally said it out! omigosh. should feel like something big has been released. but no, tension juga. it's only the first day since i said it and i'm already feeling so terrible. i never knew that i was such a big influence to them. something to feel proud of, but makes me sad-der to leave too. some more today a 3yr-old came with a chocolate cake specially for teacher angie!! i'm not even his class teacher! (only spending the afternoon-one-hours with him!) asked him why gimme the cake. "coz u like mah." then he juz kept smiling. i was too happy to even talk. i only remembered that i scolded him till he cried and hit me that day. all i can manage that time was a hug for him.

well, in the car. jane was crying. terkejut, then all the way home i dunno what to say. went to pick up her fren, and she made me join her yam-cha. so i ended up sitting on the coffee table with an ahpek & 2 ahmu(s). burrRP!! after that i walked home. i smiled to the first thing i saw on the way back. only that the other party was looking at me as if "who the hell are you?" only i realised that he was a CAT!! hahaha :D i smiled to a cat??? omigosh~ can't believe it mien!!! i smiled to a totally black idiotic cat!!! well, should say that i'm the idiot =P

reached home and i got another bday necklace from mexen & boyboy. ma said nai gimme angpow today gok, but at home la. lee cheche gave me a shirt exactly like hers pula 2 days ago. wow, this year's birthday is lonnnnnnnnnng! celebrated since the 2nd. wooooooohoo~

little little hopes

like you wrote:
fragile is the tiny heart
as strong as it tries to be
longing only for a soft reflection
but blankness creeps in silently

how nice if these little little hopes of ours bloomed more often?

Angie, your true color is Green!

You're green, the color of growth and vigor. Good-hearted and giving, you have a knack for finding and bringing out the best in people. Green is the most down-to-earth color in the spectrum — reliable and trustworthy. People know they can count on you to be around in times of need, since your concern for people is genuine and sincere. You take pride in being a good friend. For you, success is measured in terms of personal achievement and growth, not by status or position. Rare as emeralds, greens are wonderful, natural people. It truly is your color!

hah, this is the result from the Tickle test. and i like it :)

i want ME back!!

"The art of life is to know how to enjoy a little and to endure very much." -- William Hazlitt
i just saw that quote and learnt a new word, endure. art of life wor. so kelian one ah. enjoy little, endure much. haiih.

Many things seem to be happening these two weeks. some are bad, but there're good ones. but i dunno why i'm just feeling not right. others might not realise but i can feel the stupid idiotic fake smile myself. yerrr~ why like dat?! i don't like this ME. please get me back... :(

For now, i can only sum up everything i've learned about life in three words: it goes on.

给我力量！

2006年3月24日。你好吗？我不好。竟敢朦喳喳到差点给电单车撞倒！感觉上一整个礼拜都不好，不过却一副若无其事的老模样。相信在这陌生的地方没有人会看穿我。

忽然一直期待、从来听不厌的信息声响了……“多微笑少苦恼，若不笑心浮燥，胡乱笑没必要，开心笑心境好，苦心笑人易老，欺人笑少为妙，会心笑有礼貌，成功笑不骄傲，如何笑心知道，愿你快乐每一天。”有时很讨厌fwd msg，不过这封好像来得正好。看了蛮安慰的。他说昨天第一次看我发脾气。莫名其妙，做么会酱说？你骂我。哈哈，有吗？（回想昨天）谁叫你miscall错时间啊？活该。我只说再惹我的话我会骂人啊，哈哈。

上课时简直不能专心。一gang七个，只有两个到。我们还是答应对方会出席才去的咧，她生病，我心情超down累死。不过很高兴彼此可以发泄啦，毕竟目前她与我遭遇差不多，比较了解彼此心情。

谢谢有安全巴士。回来后在小亭里坐着讲电话。地板多肮脏也不管了，只知道我非常需要那一股力量！他的魔力就是这么神奇。原本要说的很多东西，很多都没说出口。一瞬间，烦恼很多都被无聊的埋怨声和笑声掩盖了。没有特别的话题，却能感到那份温暖。这时候的时间总是过得很快……我忘记跟妈妈报平安！结果被骂到爽。

宵夜。应该是晚餐吧。回来这里，就是准备倾听她的烦恼。习惯了。不过无所谓，只要我拿回了力量 ：）

look young vs look matured

hmm...some ppl juz love to look mature, but me, only at times. coz most of the time i prefer to look young! but there're situations when u feel awkward or dunno how to even react. e.g.
-- going out with a friend your same age, then a person daringly said that your friend looks like 25yr-old, and kept calling you 小妹妹, how's that feeling?
-- out with a fren whom ppl said is your brother. even with real siblings ppl seldom said we look alike. one said i'm his older sister, one said i'm his younger sister. so???
-- ppl guessing your age, like dun dare to guess. there's one experience a woman ask her kids to call me "aunty-che che". (coz i was with my colleague and they're 40+) omigosh. please la. can't forget that.

well, well, whatever. most importantly, be happy. and feel young :)

Funny Quote!

"I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap." --- Bob Hope
haha, just thought it was funny. so wrote it down.

today's the last class of this module and next week's my exam. haiih. well, i was squeaking with excitement when i got the timetable for the next module! haha. coz...coz....i won't have classes on Sundays for the following 2 months!! How wonderfuL!! Friday nights are off too! Saturdays 9 to 6 as usual lo. Kesian some of my frens lo, haha. can't imagine 9 to 5pm every Sunday studying LAN M'sian studies. had to laugh. coz while they're yawning in class, i might be wandering around having fun! or at least snuggling in bed. haha.

do you often have moments when u saw something and you thought of someone? well, i ALWAYS. it's good and bad. like today, i saw a niu niu then i suddenly remembered of yaya. called to ask Ben the exact date & it's today. still in time to wish her happy bday :) but most of the time those 'whatever' things make you miss that person so much although all the happy memories again appears like it's just YESTERDAY.

my kissing monkeys

These are my kissing monkeys at home. supposedly to give out one but thought they were too cute to be separated. and i found a really good place for them. my cupboard. would have attached the video if i knew how to. everyone who saw the live show would laugh and love it. haha. muakss~~

i just seem to start thinking of home again. anything that resembles home. okies, nitey. goodnite kiss ^*^

Fridays vs Mondays

Well, most people would love Fridays and not Mondays. they call it Monday blues. as for me, both days are not as great. Mondays i gotta wake up too early to wait. Fridays are tiring, especially when there're night classes, and when i have to look for ppl to send me home. won't dare to take the late bus anymore ^_^ one time scary experience is enough. i just hate to be alone.

Nadia took MC on Friday, and David scared my life off. how could he? bringing his emotions to the class, sighing all day long. and even asked me to do such a thing! unbelievable. 22 in a class, shout until i wanna die. help la, sit there got what use wor. how can my dear voice ever recover wor? sometimes i think i'm really too low-paid la, just because the college introduced me as a student, i had to work more but get less pay compared to them? so unfair. the older ppl are all good to me, just that sometimes i dunno whether i should trust them. sometimes i think i'm too soft-hearted, putting myself in a dilemma. since i made my decision to leave after May, i better. cannot xin ruan all the time. joo said, "learn to be good to yourself." ying said, "learn to stand for yourself. i can't be your 24h angel." i always remembered these.

That Friday nite was the boring class, and again Saturday whole day. i couldn't stand and was kinda sleeping. really can't open my eyes. Her lectures...hard to understand, boring & telling jokes that are not funny at all. we purposely chose a table for only 4 during lunch. she sat with us 2times already, and even lunch wasn't fun. so we decided to be bad today, she really did came by, (eh, today no extra place ah?), we juz smiled, haha. sorrylah, bopien. have to see her whole day, at least give us 1hr without her ma. aduhh. go join the old group la, why join us young gang wor?

I always take the bus & has made it a habit to add the numbers everytime i took the ticket. there was one day when i had 21 for all the 3times i took the bus on the same day! it was said that it'd be your lucky day. i had 21 again this morning. i don't know if it really makes your day lucky, and is even more not sure if the luck can be transferred to your loved ones. haha. but one thing i'm sure, it makes me happy. i'm always happy when i got 21.

better sleep. tomoro got drama class. kakaka.

The day after valentine's...

I woke early but was lazing in bed, until i cannot resist the smell of laksa. i decided to drive, so i don't have to think so much. after 2 weeks of enjoyment & relaxation at home, it's like the most dreadful thing going back to work! berat hati, but i always acted cool during departures, only silly yindeh made me cry like stupid before when she left. xxxx ah. well i had yummy laksa for breakfast, and kueh chap lunch with daddy. the food wasn't great, but it's the feeling eating with only daddy, daddy-daughter chats i just enjoy so much! I thought I'd cry this time, but nope! daddy gave me a hug and soon i was waving to him 10m apart. berat hati lah.

now i'm alone. gate A8. long way. i went to the toilet & dropped my NOKIA, internally not injured but had cuts on the side of its face. my BODY GLOVE trousers' button came off too. what bad luck. then i went the wrong way, coz the arrow was pointing forward but you actually should walk down the stairs. ishhh. when i reached gate A8, two little twin sisters (i supposed 2yr+) suddenly came up to me smiling then use their botles as guns to shoot me. pong pong pong! then they laugh. then their parents laugh. then i laugh. weird la. after that it's boring waiting until it's time to board.

this was how. hot sun. first time see the plane so near, so just took a picture. haha. well, it was a boring flight. i was sleeping most of the time, but towards the end my ear and neck felt uncomfortable so i started noticing ppl around me. i didn't manage to get a seat by the window. the lady beside me was sleeping, but the guy was opening his legs so big, hands already at my place, had to close my legs so tight so he cannot accidentally touch my thigh. (not that i think too much, but he did and i am a thigh-itchy-freak! i nearly wanted to scream at him.) the flight reached 10mins earlier. but waited for the luggage quite long too. jane's husband came late, so i read Rong's letter. (he said i could only read it when i reach KL, so i kept my promise) here it is:

hahaha, i laughed so hard when i read it. he's always so cute when you're not with him. if not, monsta is the only word to describe this little brother!

Finally i was fetched up after almost an hour. it was raining really heavily. dunno it's the ahpek eyes or what, (though the wipers are ot really good la) he drove so dangerously my heart was thumping. i had to open my eyes so big to see the roads for me, uncle here uncle there. got car ah. aiyer. it was quite weird alone with him in the car too. it seems normal during quiet moments with family members & dearer friends, but with him...awkward la. nearly met with an accident too, coz he was driving on the opposite lane and din hear me. the van was right in front of us! scared my life off @@

well, at least i got the chance to get to subang first b4 going to jane's house. but guess what, i haven't had time to even rest awhile, Yen was ready and we went down to Asia cafe straight away. she wanted us to escape the fussy owner. chatted and had dinner. but the owner was still here, so we had to go to the comic shop to waste time. so tired la, but still had to read. 2 comics i read. then finally can come back. dunno how i walk, i fell down 2 steps off the stairs, and got a beautiful bruise on my higher butt. back bath. so tired. jane called pula, said she's coming in 10mins. what the hell?! her fren came in Merz with her to pick me to her house. gossips, gossips, gossips. and her daughter kacau kacau my things liao. omigosh. they finally left me alone at 12am, but till then i couldn't sleep though i was so tired. yindeh asked me to think of the 19candles, but it was raining so hard, doesn't suit the mood. i miss the smell of my comfy bed(their smell so strong, ewww), miss talking to yindeh till we fell aslept, and miss hugging my NiCi to sleep too. i miss him. but i slept too in the end, dunno what time la.

not before long at about 5:30am, i had to wake up again. opened my eyes to realise that i'm in another world again, far away from home sweet home ^^ i miss you all. all take care ya!

The Believer

When you are a Believer, anything is possible. Your imagination is fresh with promises and dreams. Your heart is a happier place knowing they will someday come true.

7th February

today i had to wake early to follow dad. omigosh, i asked my sis how we could ever wake up during school days?! that was like reach school 7am? if got RC duty, then...wow!! how could i do that in kuching? hoho. different life. 7am is my usual time in KL, exception of some extraordinaries...well, daddy brought me for laksa as i wished, we sat down & realised that the laksa stall was closed! mum asked dad to go another shop. haha. so dad actually stood up & brought us to another shop! unfortunately, that stall was again closed. i paiseh to ask dad go another shop la, so i had mee jawa. 4times oredi lo. 1st time is when the 4 of us went Green Road to eat. no laksa. yesterday went with yeh to ChunYuan also no laksa. kolo-mee for replacement. luckily the kolo-mee was nice :)

replaced my ATM card, and i asked for an account book, but they said the newer accounts no need account books one. so weird. after that, i came home. got Nadia's call, from the kindy. and the kids were singing for me, and the call ended with the kids altogether saying, "Teacher Angie, we want you! we love you!" omigosh, they just sound sooo cute. i miss them too, but definitely not my workplace. these kids...they're adorable. how would it be having kids of my own in the future? hehehe, nice thinking about it at times.

after that i went to sleep and accidentally skipped lunch. siaw chabo. woke up to tidy & vacuum & mop my room. then CJ invited me to Kenny Height family park. Had my hands on the bike once again, after a really long time! only 15mins (but non-stop) then it started to rain, we went uphill in the drizzles...abit wet but it was fun. when i got down the bike, i felt like i was flying, my legs were so soft i nearly fell down. haha. too long no exercise, that's it. the sweat made me feel 爽！

dad & mum came home. durians. helped to carry & stupiadd. the torns on the durian left my upper calf with 5 scratches. ouchh. had dinner. watched ying's favourite korean movie <对不起，我爱你>。it's stupid but it still captures your attention. Ben always came in when they started to kiss. and it makes him excited, haha, that's what we kacau him. CJ used his toenail to scratch my thigh. a little piece of skin came off. then he laid his head on my thighs, enjoying being a baby. then dreadful Rong came jumping on us. ying & me were saying, "How can we ever grow up in this family? having so little brothers at home, having to act childish & fight with them almost everyday?"

every advertisement me & dee were like checking our phones for messages. dunno, juz today, like we're desperate waiting for mails. my phone seems quiet, except few messages from Jac & Yen. so i smsed ying when she wa still i dad's room, "Stupiad XXXX, i noe u gonna check your phone now! =P" so i went down to get water. when i came up my message tone rang, i knew it was her, but she pretended to look so innocent. blah. lousy actor lah. actually U look funny!! haahaha!!

played around with my new camera. got a good shot of daddy wanting to smack Rong. but he said it'll spoil his image, so he tickled me & got the camera over, just to delete it! notty dadda!! online. shan said yeh just offline, then awhile she also gone, left me with her sis. blablabla...i'm not gonna elaborate this part. boring.

well, actually i was juz trying to see how much i can write for a day. not purposely thinking, just writing spontaneously. coz i realised that my mails are always the longest but i dunno why. juz type nia ma. lo-so gie. quite a lot to write for today too. call it a day. gotta sleep liao...zzzZ...